MySpace Rage [How To Disable MySpace Music/Media]
Have you ever been browsing MySpace and suddenly found yourself bombarded with 5 songs competing for your attention – blasting through your speakers at the exact same time?
Well, let me tell you from first-hand experience that it’s a good thing I didn’t have any type of assault weapons, or even slightly blunt objects nearby. Someone would have been found skinned and hanging by dental floss in their attic.
There’s nothing I hate more than the music that you like. So don’t make me listen to it. Especially when it’s all 3 of your favorite (loudest) songs playing at the same time… along with your 5 favorite videos playing simultaneously, making my speakers do that crackly thing.
Not only this, but people fail to take into account that someone browsing the internet/MySpace probably already has music playing. Like me, for instance. Before the browser even opens, I open iTunes and begin listening to awesome music. I don’t need any more to go along with it. I know what I want to listen to. Please don’t offer me anything. I’ll tell you what I want.
For some reason, my “Stop All Band Songs From Automatically Playing” setting stopped working today. Probably another MySpace screw-up. That Tom guy is an idiot.
I was in a good mood this morning, too. That was until I signed on to MySpace.
You see, there’s a fine line between music and madness. That line is crossed when that first song is accompanied by more songs playing at the same time. What follows is a blind rage on the part of the listener. Similar to road rage. I’ll call it “MySpace Rage.” You get a really tight sensation in your stomach, the hairs on the back of your neck and arms stand straight up, and you get a feeling that you’re about to lose control over your inhibitions. The loud noise emitting from your speakers makes you feel like you’re choking… only adding to the madness.
This occurs when the owner of a profile doesn’t have the common courtesy to limit themselves to one (1) song and/or video (Look at what you’ve done!). It’s like the feeling you get when being cut off on a busy road. These people need to die.
Of course, the people who do this believe sincerely in their hearts that they are exposing others to their, obviously, exquisite and highly sophisticated taste in music. But, in reality, they are actually putting their very lives in danger by inciting MySpace Rage. So, my intention here is to save lives. I’d hate to see someone brutally murdered because they decided to put 15 videos and songs playing simultaneously on their MySpace profile.
For anyone who’s been in my situation, here’s how to remove this trash from your life. It consists of three (3) easy steps.
Step 1: Download Mozilla FireFox. It’s a lot better than Internet Explorer.
Step 2: Install the GreaseMonkey plugin.
Step 3: Install the “MySpace Media Remover” script. (This is the most satisfying step. Knowing that you totally deny any music/video from playing without your explicit permission. Oh yeah, I feel better already.)
No need to thank me. I do it because it’s the right thing to do.
Read a book.