Home > All, Family, Humor, Life, Strange Occurances, Stupidity > What Kind Of Crap Is This?

What Kind Of Crap Is This?

So, you know those ads about missing children you get in the mail? The ones that come with coupons on the back for, like, free oil changes and great deals on pizza? Yeah, my family got one of those a few weeks ago [pictured above], up in Hudson Falls, New York. They brought it down when they came to visit. Apparently there was something on this one that I needed to see.

Look closely at the guy on the right. What’s that name? David Garrett?

You’ve gotta be kidding me. Now everyone thinks I’m a wanted man. Last seen with: David Garrett.

The funny part is, the people who live next to my parents (people who never talk to them) asked how I was doing the day after that thing hit everyone’s mailboxes. Like what is that supposed to mean? Did I get arrested yet? Everyone in town got that same ad in their mailbox.

I haven’t lived there in like 3 years. So now everyone probably thinks I’m some kind of kidnapper or something. Not like I can defend myself. Ridiculous.

I should be allowed to put my picture on there. “Not ever seen with: This David Garrett. Reputation/pride/good name preserved. This David Garrett is definitely not a kidnapper. Please, thank you, you’re welcome, excuse me, and certainly.”

So yeah, if you see me, don’t call the cops on me. I didn’t kidnap anyone.

Why did this guy have to have my name? I feel like that guy on Office Space… Michael Bolton. “Why should I change my name? He’s the one who sucks.”

Read a book.

P.S.

I’ve decided to modify my New Year’s Resolution. Instead of reading 2 (two) books per month, I’m going to read 1 (one) book per month – twice. Or, maybe several, depending on what time permits. I figure that instead of quantity of consumption, I will focus on quality of understanding. I mean, you can’t really read a book once and gain the full understanding you could otherwise obtain.

So yeah, read a book… over and over.

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