“Why I Wouldn’t Read This Blog” [Issue #4]
Here we are. Issue #4 of “Why I Wouldn’t Read This Blog.” It’s been a kind of busy week, so I haven’t really looked at many blogs besides yesterday and a little bit today. Never fear, though. I found plenty of shit. I also want to pre-apologize for what may seem like a lack of quality in this week’s issue. I’m running on about 3 hours of sleep in the past 2 days or so. With that being said, let’s take a look at this week’s shitty blogs.
This blog is called “.:Jessie Marie:..” As soon as I opened this page, I was annoyed. The text for the first entry (as well as the second) is very large, incorrectly punctuated, and center aligned. Now, I don’t have a whole lot to say about this blog, but the main thing to take away from this is that you shouldn’t use “attention getting” font styles like this, because it didn’t get my attention. It only made me, as I said, annoyed. I have a hard time even focusing on this blog. So that’s all I’m going to say about it.
Speaking of annoying, here’s “Zack Sparrow Attacks * Limited Edition Collection.” When I opened this blog, I was immediately inundated with very annoying music/video. This blog isn’t even in English, but if I could understand this guy’s native language, I still wouldn’t read it. I couldn’t find a “stop” button to keep this music from playing. Being as tired as I am, I have very little patience for sites like this. If this person were present, I might have even stabbed them for this “autoplaying” of music and/or video. So, because they are not present, this is me e-stabbing this person in the gut. E-stab. E-stab. I have now invented the “e-stab.” Feel free to use it on people who annoy you and are not physically present.
On to the next piece of internet trash. Here’s “Dream Of Colours (:.” I’m guessing I could fit this entire blog on a single piece of printer paper. The space I will use to tell you, my faithful reader, how ridiculous this blog is will take up more space than this person used for their entire blog.
I have to tell you, I started laughing when I clicked on the “preview” for this site. There’s something hilarious about someone putting a list of things they want on their blog. Not just saying that they’d like such-and-such as a means of enhancing their life. I mean like an itemized list, short of model numbers. Like it’s an “Internet Begging List.” I think they’re hoping some rich philanthropist is going to open their blog and say, “Hmmm… maybe I’ll buy this person everything on this list because they seem worthy of it.” No. It isn’t going to happen. Bill Gates would never read this blog. So yeah, don’t annoy me with that.
This blog has nothing to interest its readers. It doesn’t even have “content,” per se. I don’t know where these people get these strange templates, but I’m sure a likely place would be I-would-never-read-a-blog-with-these-templates.com. That’s only an educated guess, though.
“I Love Clothes A Little Too Much.” This person loves AdSense a little too much. There are more ads on this page than there are blog entries, or content in general. Let me just say that when your ratio of ads to content is greater than 1.0, you must realize that I would never read that blog. Let that be a lesson to you. E-stab.
With that, I’m going to conclude this issue. Again, if this issue isn’t up to par, please remember that my mind isn’t where is should be, as far as focus is concerned. In fact, I think I can say that I barely even remember writing this. That means no filler. You’re getting exactly what was on my mind at that very instant. That also means those are my exact reasons why “I Would Never Read This Blog.”