Why I Wouldn’t Read This Blog [Issue #3]
“Why I Wouldn’t Read This Blog,” Issue #3. Three issues already. Seems like it’s only been a week since I started doing this. Hopefully this series is making an impact (no matter how small) on how my readers blog.
This week I found some really shitty blogs. Some I’d hardly even consider blogs in the general sense of the word. Let’s take a look at a few.
Here’s “+Gundam Seed Destiny.” Just from the name, you know it’s imaginary, infantile miscellany. If you think the name is horrible, you should try reading this blog. Here’s a portion of the first line in the newest entry: “yoz…i m back again…herm,can sae tt todae travel 3 hrs…” My Microsoft Office Word 2007 Beta started locking up trying to understand this quote. It had no idea how to correct for grammar or spelling. It actually froze up for a second while it processed this garbage. I have “Proofing Tools” installed, which recognizes about 50 languages, and I think it actually went back and forth 2 or 3 times between English, Swahili and German trying to make sense of it. All I see are those squiggly red lines signifying error, error, error.
Then there’s the music. Please, please, please… anyone who puts music on their blog, don’t make it autoplay!!! I am, as I think most blog readers are, listening to music of my own when I’m browsing the net. The last thing I want is someone else’s music interrupting mine. It’s just as bad, if not worse, than a pop-up advertisement. You’re saying, “HEY YOU!! LISTEN TO THIS MUSIC I’M FORCING UPON YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL!!” Here I am trying to listen to the Nine Inch Nails “With Teeth” album and all I get is some shitty theme music from an anime cartoon blasting out my speakers at the same time. That is annoying. I’m sure your taste in music is quite sophisticated and original, eloquent and refined. But don’t force it on me. If I’m interested in it, I’ll click “play” and listen to it of my own volition. Thank you very much.
“UHeardThatNew.” Here we go again. I really can’t stress enough how important proper grammar and spelling are. How significant of a role they play in keeping a blog interesting to it’s readers, in appealing to a wide audience of readers. There isn’t much I hate more than lazy, incorrect spelling. Blatant disregard for language. Well, that and pictures of your cat. I have no interest in that.
“Yea…….Im not letting up, Its friday Aug 4th, 2006 and im on a 4 game winning streak.” This is the first line in the newest entry. Maybe if I illustrate what’s wrong with this, it will help others to not make the same mistake. This blog totally abuses the ellipses (…). I couldn’t find any single periods (.). You know, the punctuation mark that indicates the end of a complete thought. “Im,” I’m assuming, is the contraction for I am. There’s supposed to be an apostrophe between the I and the M. I’m. The comma after “up” should actually be a period. It is, I think, the end of a complete thought, as this person did capitalize the incorrect form of “It’s (the contraction for “It is),” indicating a new sentence would be starting. (Was this just pure luck? Just random capitalization gone right?) Friday is a proper noun, the name of a day of the week. Capitalize it! “Friday,” which should also be followed by a comma, as it is followed by the month and year. And again with the “I’m” thing.
Please learn to write properly if you want people to (be able to) read your blog.
“hey ppl at Jina’s place I hidden all of her fabe things and she has no clue where it is well today we saw “John Tucker must die” today fun and laughs man. see ya later.” That is the entire entry for 8/4/2006 in “SuMMeR.” Can anyone out there make sense of this? This is what we call a “run-on” sentence, mixed with some things that aren’t even words.
Finally, here’s “Auto body part saab used.” I’m sure you already know what’s wrong with this. Aside from the atrocious title, this site is obnoxious. You can’t tell the difference between blog entries and advertisements. It’s all one big mess. It assaults the eyes, making it hurt to read. There may be actual useful information on this site, but it hurts too much to look for it. In fact, this is all the info I care to give about this blog. I need to spare my eyes so they’ll be at least functional for the next issue of “Why I Wouldn’t Read This Blog.”
In this issue, grammar has definitely been the focus. This is because of how important it is in maintaining readers. Regular visitors to your blog. No one is going to read something they have to struggle to understand. Keep this in mind as you publish your next blog entry. Is it littered with ellipses? Are you using 2 or 3 letters in substitution for actual words? Is there any punctuation at all in your blog? If you’re doing any of these things, erase the entry and start over. No one will read that blog.
And don’t interrupt my music with yours.
Read a book.